I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
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I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
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I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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