If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize