Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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