that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
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i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
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I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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