Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize