Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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