i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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