I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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