Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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