There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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