Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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