So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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