Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
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