If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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