Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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