Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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