I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize