this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This house was built for laser tag.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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