that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
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i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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