I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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