So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
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Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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