i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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