she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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