When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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