Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize