it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
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I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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