Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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