Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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