She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize