So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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