Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(952): View more from Minnesota

I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(952): I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it. http://tfl.nu/soz7

Replies (3) Good night (1059) Bad night (339) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(207): View more from Maine

If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(207): If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs. http://tfl.nu/6isi

Replies (14) Good night (2666) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(205): View more from Alabama

at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(205): at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me. http://tfl.nu/ujwu

Replies (21) Good night (2939) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(453): View more from

apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(453): apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it. http://tfl.nu/3val

Replies (15) Good night (558) Bad night (3959) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late. http://tfl.nu/bosu

Replies (17) Good night (4827) Bad night (1045)
Favorite
(812): View more from Indiana

We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(812): We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells". http://tfl.nu/8dsx

Replies (8) Good night (4146) Bad night (836) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...

(317): View more from Indiana

Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night... (317): Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even http://tfl.nu/pe86

Replies (7) Good night (2643) Bad night (593)
Favorite
(414): View more from Wisconsin

got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(414): got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain http://tfl.nu/81b4

Replies (2) Good night (1654) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(773): View more from Illinois

Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach

(630): View more from Illinois

Me toooooo!! Margaritas

(773): View more from Illinois

I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(773): Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach (630): Me toooooo!! Margaritas (773): I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good http://tfl.nu/3y14

Replies (51) Good night (1149) Bad night (3634)
Favorite
(845): View more from New York

Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(845): Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial http://tfl.nu/xnww

Replies (3) Good night (1415) Bad night (1140) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(712): View more from Iowa

You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(712): You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you? http://tfl.nu/pa4x

Replies (11) Good night (568) Bad night (1619) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school. http://tfl.nu/m6s5

Replies (8) Good night (1978) Bad night (401)
Favorite
(505): View more from New Mexico

Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(505): Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore.. http://tfl.nu/qq6k

Replies (8) Good night (1089) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(614): View more from Ohio

I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(614): I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower. http://tfl.nu/c26q

Replies (15) Good night (433) Bad night (955) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(805): View more from California

My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(805): My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit. http://tfl.nu/alyo

Replies (9) Good night (1694) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: