I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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