I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize