Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
then he tried to convert me to islam
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it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
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Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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