I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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