Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
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At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
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Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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