I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
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its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
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I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize