sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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