so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize