Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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