She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
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I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
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Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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