And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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