Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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