I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We left an ass print on the piano.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We need a shit load of segways right now
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize