I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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