I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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