i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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