College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
sex in a hospital.. check
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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