Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize