She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize